My Scale - My Enemy

I'm pretty sure men do not have the same relationship with the SCALE as women do. We base our view of ourselves on what the scale tells us each day. Before I started working out 8 years ago, I weighed myself at my parents house once a year (because, of course, my mom has a scale), at the doctors office once a year (subtracting 5 lbs for the weight of my clothes), but I don't remember even having a scale at my house. I just didn't care. Of course, I also liked my weight back then.

Then I started working out and the scale became my daily acknowledgement of my success... or lack of success. Sort of like my relationship with cable TV... I didn't have cable TV until a few years ago and was PERFECTLY happy without it (although my son was not) but once I had it, I couldn't stop watching TV (USA network, HGTV, Cooking Channel). It's the same thing with the scale... I can't stop stepping on it.

The problem with the scale is I will never be happy with what it tells me. If my weight is lower, I'm not happy, because I'm wondering when my weight will go up again. Not "if" it will go up. But "when" it will go up again. As you know, I'm just getting back into working out, and had a pretty good stretch of workouts, both weight lifting and cardio. I. Was. Proud. Of. Myself. I felt like I was getting back into my fitness groove. Maybe I could be the victor in my battle with Ricardo the Vino Chub.

Then I got sick. Stay at home, miserable, achy body, congested, headache, sore throat sick for a week.

And I thought to myself... two good weeks of working out, one week of being sick, I'm sure I lost some weight.

NOT.

I want to blow up that f*cking stupid scale. And if you can relate to this, then you will also relate to the next thing I did. Stepped off the scale, reset it, and stepped back on. D*MN. F*CK. SH*T.

The scale makes me miserable every single day. Sometimes it teases me and gives me a lower number. And I feel good about myself for, oh, about a second. And when I step back on it the next day, and the number is higher than the day before, I want to cry and scream.

I think I'm a smart woman. I am a bit krazy, but overall, smart. So why can't I see what this scale has become? My enemy.
- It doesn't make me feel good about myself.
- It doesn't make me eat better.
- It doesn't make me drink less.
- It doesn't make me work out more.

This is war.

First step to gain control: I'm averting eye contact with the scale. If we don't make eye contact, then it can't lure me to stand on it... and BAM, tell me how much I weigh.

I'll let you know how it goes.

No pain, no gain.
Stay strong.